“There’s a certain amount of humility that comes with being 30 years old and a graduate student. The stipend is paltry, the housing less than prime,” writes Hinda Mandell.
Like many graduate students, Hinda knows where to find cheap or, better yet, free food. The best place to shop free is at her parents’ home, she says.
Resourceful, you bet! And it sounds like she has parents who give her the support she needs, but hold the guilt.
Graduate students not only know where to find free food, but they also come home for unconditional food. And parents are doing what they can do best– providing for good relationships with you, their studious offspring, for years into the future by stocking the larder with your favorite food and then claiming, “Oh, we’ll never eat all of this. Take whatever you want.”
No questions asked, no reference to your dissertation, no recriminations, no comparisons to someone else’s son or daughter who finished the dissertation so quickly (as opposed to you know who).
Most parents of ABD’s want you to write your dissertation and get it behind you, and they also want you to keep coming home. Did you think that the fridge or cabinets just happened to hold items that you particularly like?
So pack the food, take it back to your apartment, and write.
Until next time,
Nancy Whichard, Ph.D., PCC
Your International Dissertation and Academic Career Coach