Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘support’

FutureMe–The one who met her dissertation deadlines

Posted in academic, accountability, coaching, commitment, deadline, determination, discipline, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, distractions, email, finishing the dissertation, focus, following through, Lizard Brain, perseverance, planning, resources, self-discipline, self-sabotage, tagged , , , , , , on October 17, 2010| 1 Comment »

Do Something That Scares You Every Day

How do you keep focused on your writing goal?  Our Lizard Brains can make it all too easy to let a goal slip, and with each deadline or marker you miss, it’s that much longer before you finish your dissertation.

FutureMe at www.futureme.org is a helpful tool for accountability as you write your dissertation.  

You can send an email to your future self anywhere from one month to 30 years or more in the future.  But let’s not think about 30 years from now! 

Let’s talk about your short-term goals.

Here’s my request– write an email to yourself to be delivered close to the time of your next deadline or short-term goal (and I’m hoping that deadline is within the next 6 weeks).  Write in that email the specifics that you have in place that will make hitting that deadline a cinch. 

 Make sure that you include in the email the distractions you must say no to if you are to reach your writing goal.

 When your Future Self receives this email, it will be cause for celebration.  You have stuck to your plan, and the email is a pat on the back for you.

 Such things as FutureMe are great ways to help you stay on track.

 Another way to keep you accountable is to hire a dissertation coach. 

 The more frequently you check up on yourself and the more importance you attach to doing what you said you would do, the sooner the diss will be over and done with.

How are you doing with accountability?  Need some help with that?  I’d love to hear from you.

All good wishes,

 Nancy

 Nancy Whichard, Ph.D., PCC
Your International Dissertation and Academic Career Coach

www.dissertationbootcamp.net
www.usingyourstrengths.com
www.smarttipsforwriters.com

Read Full Post »

What do ABD’s want from their parents? Unconditional food

Posted in academic, children, coaching, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, family, relationships, tagged , , , , on August 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

“There’s a certain amount of humility that comes with being 30 years old and a graduate student. The stipend is paltry, the housing less than prime,” writes Hinda Mandell.

Like many graduate students, Hinda knows where to find cheap or, better yet, free food.  The best place to shop free is at her parents’ home, she says. 

Resourceful, you bet! And it sounds like she has parents who give her the support she needs, but hold the guilt.

Graduate students not only know where to find free food, but they also come home for unconditional food.  And parents are doing what they can do best– providing for good relationships with you, their studious offspring, for years into the future by stocking the larder with your favorite food and then claiming, “Oh, we’ll never eat all of this. Take whatever you want.” 

No questions asked, no reference to your dissertation, no recriminations, no comparisons to someone else’s son or daughter who finished the dissertation so quickly (as opposed to you know who).

Most parents of ABD’s want you to write your dissertation and get it behind you, and they also want you to keep coming home.  Did you think that the fridge or cabinets just happened to hold items that you particularly like?

So pack the food, take it back to your apartment, and write.

Until next time,

Nancy

Nancy Whichard, Ph.D., PCC
Your International Dissertation and Academic Career Coach

www.dissertationbootcamp.net
www.usingyourstrengths.com
www.smarttipsforwriters.com

Read Full Post »

Boldness and Hope Will Rescue Your Dissertation

Posted in academic, brave, coaching, courage, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, fears, finishing the dissertation, hope, mental toughness, perseverance, reflection, resilience, resources, support, take charge, top strengths, urgency, using your strengths, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Writing a dissertation is full of black holes that can swallow you up.

Boldness allows you to embrace hope and can make the impossible seem possible.

In the short story “Incoming Tide,” Pulitzer Prize winning writer Elizabeth Strout captures the essence of what might result from the interplay of boldness, hope, and perseverance.

“Incoming Tide,” from Strout’s collection entitled Olive Kitteridge, is told from the point of view of a young doctor, who has never recovered emotionally from a tragedy in his family.  He has returned to the town where he lived as a child. 

It’s clear that he plans to end his life.

But first he encounters a former teacher whose company and meandering conversation delays his plan and then at her urging, he’s called to do something bold.

The bold rescue of someone else also rescues him:  “he thought he would like the moment to be forever…Look how she wanted to live, look how she wanted to hold on.”

Consider the power of boldness.

You might need someone who believes in you and knows what you can do in order for you to do something bold.  You might have to be pushed.

You might even be avoiding doing something bold because you know that it could very likely lead to your feeling hopeful.  Once you let in some hope, then who knows what you might have to do! 

And what promises do you have that even with hope, you’ll reach your goal?

But it’s worth the gamble.  Once you have hope, perseverance becomes much easier.

Have you read “Incoming Tide”?

What have you read or what has occurred that inspires you to be bold?
I’d love to hear from you.

New Year’s Greetings,

Nancy

Nancy Whichard, Ph.D., PCC
Your International Dissertation Coach and Academic Career Coach

www.nancywhichard.com
www.dissertationbootcamp.net
www.usingyourstrengths.com

Read Full Post »

Share Some Kind Words with Your Dissertating Siblings and Friends: Support Is Critical

Posted in advisor, Blogs, coaching, dissertation advisors, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, hope, positive psychology, Smart Tips, using your strengths, tagged , , , , , , on September 7, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Georgetown University Professor Deborah Tannen writes about the supportive relationship she has with her two sisters.

In the Sept. 6, 2009 Washington Post, Tannen says that she sends them her manuscripts for their comments and once a book is published, she waits eagerly, yet nervously, for their response.

After reading a draft and sending Deborah Tannen some comments, one of her sisters also followed up with an email saying, “Stop reading this, and go back to writing your book.  Love, Mim.”

Professor Tannen says that she has posted that email over her writing desk, and the words continue to support her and help keep her on task.
 
I’ve always missed having a sister, but I know there are many other ways to have that same kind of support.

A client told me recently how anxious she had been about sending a draft to her advisor, but the kind, encouraging words as well as the constructive comments that accompanied the draft when the advisor sent it back buoyed my client and gave her the will to jump back into her work.

My dissertation coaching convinces me of the support writers need.  Often, in coaching I ask my clients to talk through what they are going to write when they get off of the phone with me.  Rehearsing the writing clarifies my client’s ideas and also engages my clients, reminding them of why they wanted to write about this particular idea and reassuring them that they do know what they will do next.

Frequently, clients also give me something in return.  After asking questions that helped a client become enthusiastic and self-confident about the immediate task ahead, she said, “I’m so glad I work with you.” 

I may not have a sister who sends me emails that I can post on my coaching table, but I did write down that comment and I put it where I can see it every day.

A blog post entitled “Instant mood lifter:  thank someone for a job well done”  (June 24, 2009) by the very successful Escape from Cubicle Nation blogger Pamela Slim revealed that she was moved to tears by receiving kind, thoughtful praise via a tweet.  Just goes to show you, doesn’t it? 

She said, “Kindness is not a little thing.  It is not fluffy, unicorn and rainbow coachy stuff.  Kindness heals.”

Have you told anyone recently that you appreciate their help or sent someone hard at work on a big and stressful project a supportive email?  It’s a wonderful thing to do. 

Have a great week.

All good wishes,

Nancy

P.S. I appreciate your reading my blog.  It means a great deal to me.  And I always appreciate your comments.

P.S.S.  Smart Tips for Writers, my online newsletter, goes out this week.  Register today at my website:  www.nancywhichard.com.

Nancy Whichard, Ph.D., PCC
Your International Dissertation Coach and Academic Career Coach

www.nancywhichard.com
www.dissertationbootcamp.net
www.smarttipsforwriters.com

Read Full Post »

Where Do You Want to be on Your Dissertation in 3 Months?

Posted in academic, alliances, choice, coaching, commitment, discipline, dissertation advisors, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, family, following through, getting started, goals, momentum, perseverance, planning, productivity, re-start, realistic goals, resources, restart writing, self-sabotage, Smart Tips, strategies, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2007| Leave a Comment »

Making goals for an entire year seems to me to be self-sabotaging.

Are we talking about making a big change that you’ll be so disciplined that you’ll do that action you’re contemplating every single day for the next year?  That’s too much time to deal with. 

Chunk it down.

If you decide where you want to be in 3 months, it seems far more manageable.

So where do you want to be in 3 months?

1.  Write it down and post it where you will see it.

2.  Put it in your calendar.

3.  What help do you need? Ask for it.
• Help from friends?  Partner?  Family?
•  Alliance with a writing buddy?
• Coaching?  Hire a dissertation coach?

4.  What resources do you already have? Pull them up.
• Advisor?  Mentor?  Friend whose opinion you trust?
• What is that resource you’ve been meaning to dip into?  Now is the time.

5.  What’s the first step?
• Use your top strengths–your signature strengths– to make this step easier
• Make the first step realistic and manageable

6.  Go my website (www.nwcoaching.com) and sign up for my Smart Tips newsletter. You will get support and tips that you can use.  I’ll also send you a gift.

Here we go!

Until next time,
Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com

P.S.  Plan for 3 months of successful writing.   
 

Read Full Post »

To Write More Easily, Induce a Good Mood: Five Minutes of Music Can Get You in Front of that Computer Screen and Writing

Posted in coaching, dissertation coach, dissertation writing, distractions, focus, getting started, Happier, hope, joy, memories, momentum, music, positive psychology, re-start, resources, restart writing, start writing, strategies, structures, writing, writing, dissertation, You Tube, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2007| 2 Comments »

Writing is easier when you’re in a good mood. 

Researchers say that if you can generate a somewhat happy frame of mind, starting your writing and sticking with it will be easier.

So what can you do to bring about a happier mood?   Listen to some music!

Music is powerful.  Research supports claims that not only can music decrease depression and improve your mood, but it can also improve focus and memory.  It has even been shown to reduce chronic pain. 

The kind of music writers prefer varies wildly.  Many writers like popular music that cranks them up—invigorates them and gets the juices flowing.

Or classical music, with expansive, stirring orchestration.

Maybe you’re like me and sometimes want music that takes you to a quiet place in your mind where you can push everything else aside.

How about old movie musicals?—do you feel a lift when you hear “Seventy-Six Trombones” from The Music Man  or “The Hills Are Alive” from The Sound of Music?

What music invigorates you, helps you focus, induces a good mood, or perhaps brings to mind that person or those people who support you in your dissertation process?

I feel a surge of happiness when I hear my favorite oldies, such as “I Can See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash.  When I hear the refrain, “Look all around, there’s nothing but blue skies/ Look straight ahead, there’s nothing but blue skies,” I feel my shoulders relax as I take in a deep breath. I feel hopeful.  You can hear Nash sing this song at You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPKpmN1EJ_c

Recently I happened to see Carole King on TV singing “You’ve Got a Friend.”

For the past week, I’ve spent a few minutes almost daily at You Tube, listening to “You’ve Got a Friend” and watching snippets from different performances over the years in which Carole King sang this song that she wrote it in the ‘70s.

“You’ve Got a Friend”  reminds me of how much people matter and how important support is during the dissertation writing process.  Hearing the song puts me in a calm, centered place, and I’m ready to write.

If you haven’t heard Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” lately, here are two different versions on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_L4epGowZU&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6r1175w_lM

“You’ve Got a Friend”
Lyrics and Music: Carole King

When you’re down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there

Ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold
They’ll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend

What music are you listening to?  What moves you to write?

I’d love to hear from you.  I’d also like to send you my free e-newsletter.  Please sign up at my website (www.nwcoaching.com).

Until later,

Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com
 

Read Full Post »